"We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if if is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."While I've done many spiritual inventories that have each told me a different gift, this week I tried to focus on this passage for what it says and ask God if I am truly using the gifts He has given me. But, in order to know if I'm truly using my gifts correctly, I had to ask Him what my gifts are. It took a lot to think about where God has uniquely wired me, but I realized tonight, that I believe God has given me a heart of mercy. I don't believe that I use it to the best of my ability, but I know that whenever I read or see something where people are hurting, my heart starts to hurt and my mind starts to think of ways to solve their problems. For example, today I watched a documentary called The Lottery. It is a really good documentary and I highly recommend it. It is about 4 families who live in Harlem and are trying to get their 5 year olds into the Harlem charter schools so they can have a quality education. Unfortunately, because so many people want to get into the charter schools, a lottery is held each year that determines which children get in. In this film, only 1 child got into the charter schools through the lottery. It was hard to watch, knowing that 3 of those children who still have great parents are going to have to go to the public schools where they may or may not succeed.
While I was watching this film, I began to think about if I was able to help these people, how would I? Would I go and teach in one of these inner-city schools? Would I be an athletic trainer in an inner-city high school so I could maybe be a positive role model for one of these kids? If a position opened up to move to NY, would I take it? Or, how can I take the knowledge I've gained through seeing the film to help those around me? I think that sometimes I get so caught up thinking about whats going on outside my world, that I forget to look at the people near me. Are the athletes I work with on a daily basis hurting? How can I be the sunshine in someone's dark day? If I'm so touched by a movie that talks about people I've never met, why am I not so affected by the people I see every day? As we left church last Sunday, the pastor told us that it should be evident to the people closest to us what our gifts are, because if we can't use our gifts at home, how are we going to be able to use them with perfect stranger?
So, if my spiritual gift is mercy, how am I using it at home? To be honest, not well. I may feel hurt and pain for people half-way around the world, but its harder to feel pain for someone who I see on a daily basis and it is even harder to feel pain for someone who has hurt me. Its hard for me to realize their pain when they have caused me such pain. But, if I can't feel or notice their pain, then I can't show them mercy or God's love. I think the gift of mercy is one of the ways that God opens the door to show others how much He loves them. And, I would hope that when someone tells me of the pain they are going through, that I would be cheerful in being merciful as Romans 12:8 says, however, I don't believe that that is always the case. I know that sometimes I get annoyed as people share things with me, but my hope is that as I begin to truly use my gifts, God would also give me the patience to listen and not be annoyed. If you are of the praying mindset, please pray that I would have patience with those around me and that I would be able to show them mercy daily even when I'm tired.
